Worship in Times of Despair

I was looking through some old writings of mine and found the one below from March 29, 2012. I remember that being a difficult year for me, but I can't remember why I was writing this the day before my birthday. Thinking back to that time of my life I can say by God's grace I made it through that year, and all that was trying to overcome me was conquered by Him, and I can look back at that year and what God brought me through with joy. So if you're going through times of despair, hold on. There is hope. Praise God for that.

Here's what I wrote:

I don’t think worship can be any more passionate, or beautiful, or sincere, or intimate than when you’re completely destitute and broken. Because it is at that moment that you worship God not because He is able to save you, but because you realize God is still God and God is still good and worshiping Him is just natural because of who He is. I have never felt closer to God than when I am broken and reduced  to nothing. It is then I look to God and see how He does not change, and I worship Him because He remains God and in control, and it overwhelms me because I am aware of His character. I seek Him and there He is. He looks at me and listens to me, and in my pain He is there. I worship Him because He is God and then I worship Him because He is Savior.

 Indeed, He is able to save. He does not allow me to face anything that is too great for me to bear. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I cry out to God and say, “It is too much for me to bear.” And God reminds me that is not too much when I rely on His strength. Yes, it is true. It is not too much for Him, therefore it is not too much for me. Though I may be shaken or oppressed or discouraged or harassed, though I may be burdened or afflicted or emotionally distraught, I am not overcome. I am not. I feel His peace inside me. It is not loud or great at the moment, but it is there. And it will keep me from giving in to despair. His joy is also inside me. That is why I can still rejoice. I am not defeated, not ever. Jesus has defeated all, and He is greater than the one in the world that tries to destroy me. The enemy whispers lies to convince me I am a failure and all hope is lost in an effort to entice me to give up. This is when Truth needs to be pervading  my life, my soul. Not flowing by my soul in a trickle but submerging my soul in an ocean.  You need to know Truth. His name is Jesus, the Word of God. He is the One that saves.

Heartbeat of Peace

When I go through crazy or difficult times in my life, sometimes I feel like giving up. When it comes to peace, I see it like a rope you hold while dangling over a cliff. Sometimes the rope feels solid and thick, and other times it feels like it's barely a thread. But the fact is no matter how it feels, it's always there. I wrote the following poem to try and illustrate what God has taught me about His peace during those times.

I have been given life and a new heart. Alive in Christ. I have the heartbeat of peace. The constant, steadfast sound. The sounds around may be loud and chaotic, but that steady heart of peace keeps beating. Peace is still there. The sounds around may be quiet and still, but the steady heart of peace keeps beating. 

Peace does not cease for those who are in Christ. At times it is hard to hear, like when distractions are near. Sometimes subtle and faint, but it keeps beating on, beating on, beating on. This is the heartbeat: the gift of life for those who abide in Christ. For He has said, “Peace I leave you.” 

The Spirit inside keeps the peace beating. Never does it leave. So do not let go. Though some may not hear it now, the children of God have this promise assured: Peace is left to stay. The more you fix your eyes on the Savior, the louder the heartbeat will grow.

Isaiah 26:3, 4

You will keep in perfect peace

The one whose mind is steadfast

Because he trusts in You.

Trust in the LORD forever

For the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.