Worship in Times of Despair

I was looking through some old writings of mine and found the one below from March 29, 2012. I remember that being a difficult year for me, but I can't remember why I was writing this the day before my birthday. Thinking back to that time of my life I can say by God's grace I made it through that year, and all that was trying to overcome me was conquered by Him, and I can look back at that year and what God brought me through with joy. So if you're going through times of despair, hold on. There is hope. Praise God for that.

Here's what I wrote:

I don’t think worship can be any more passionate, or beautiful, or sincere, or intimate than when you’re completely destitute and broken. Because it is at that moment that you worship God not because He is able to save you, but because you realize God is still God and God is still good and worshiping Him is just natural because of who He is. I have never felt closer to God than when I am broken and reduced  to nothing. It is then I look to God and see how He does not change, and I worship Him because He remains God and in control, and it overwhelms me because I am aware of His character. I seek Him and there He is. He looks at me and listens to me, and in my pain He is there. I worship Him because He is God and then I worship Him because He is Savior.

 Indeed, He is able to save. He does not allow me to face anything that is too great for me to bear. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I cry out to God and say, “It is too much for me to bear.” And God reminds me that is not too much when I rely on His strength. Yes, it is true. It is not too much for Him, therefore it is not too much for me. Though I may be shaken or oppressed or discouraged or harassed, though I may be burdened or afflicted or emotionally distraught, I am not overcome. I am not. I feel His peace inside me. It is not loud or great at the moment, but it is there. And it will keep me from giving in to despair. His joy is also inside me. That is why I can still rejoice. I am not defeated, not ever. Jesus has defeated all, and He is greater than the one in the world that tries to destroy me. The enemy whispers lies to convince me I am a failure and all hope is lost in an effort to entice me to give up. This is when Truth needs to be pervading  my life, my soul. Not flowing by my soul in a trickle but submerging my soul in an ocean.  You need to know Truth. His name is Jesus, the Word of God. He is the One that saves.

Heartbeat of Peace

When I go through crazy or difficult times in my life, sometimes I feel like giving up. When it comes to peace, I see it like a rope you hold while dangling over a cliff. Sometimes the rope feels solid and thick, and other times it feels like it's barely a thread. But the fact is no matter how it feels, it's always there. I wrote the following poem to try and illustrate what God has taught me about His peace during those times.

I have been given life and a new heart. Alive in Christ. I have the heartbeat of peace. The constant, steadfast sound. The sounds around may be loud and chaotic, but that steady heart of peace keeps beating. Peace is still there. The sounds around may be quiet and still, but the steady heart of peace keeps beating. 

Peace does not cease for those who are in Christ. At times it is hard to hear, like when distractions are near. Sometimes subtle and faint, but it keeps beating on, beating on, beating on. This is the heartbeat: the gift of life for those who abide in Christ. For He has said, “Peace I leave you.” 

The Spirit inside keeps the peace beating. Never does it leave. So do not let go. Though some may not hear it now, the children of God have this promise assured: Peace is left to stay. The more you fix your eyes on the Savior, the louder the heartbeat will grow.

Isaiah 26:3, 4

You will keep in perfect peace

The one whose mind is steadfast

Because he trusts in You.

Trust in the LORD forever

For the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

 

Unexpected Wisdom from a Bowl of Cereal - Contemplating the Gifts of God

This morning while I was babysitting God taught me something from a bowl of cereal.

The boy I was babysitting was pouring himself a bowl of cereal, and I went to wash my hands. I turned around and the bowl was completely filled up with a little mountain rising up from the center of the bowl.

“That’s too much. You’re not going to be able to eat all that.” I started pouring some of the cereal back in the bag and left him with a more sensible portion of cereal.

He poked at it with his finger and said, “That’s barely any.”
“Finish that and if you’re still hungry, then you can have more.”

It made me think of the parable of the talents.

"And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’"  Matthew 25:20-21

People can say to God “Give me more talent, more money, more time.” Yet they may not fully use what they already have.

It made me think, “Do I really make the most of the time, money, and gifts that God has given me?” 

"He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much."   Luke 16:10


If God were to let us pour out the talent, money, etc. then we would probably over do it and not even use half of what we poured for ourselves. God does not give so that the gifts can be hoarded (Matthew 6:19-21 & Matthew 25:18, 24-27). He gives what is needed when it is needed (Matthew 6:11). He pours in us so we can pour out to others (2 Cor. 9:6-15).

If I can’t fully use what I already have, why would I ask for even more?

Why is God going to give someone more of anything if He sees them wasting or not using up what He’s already given?

Using gifts from God doesn’t always mean making the most of them. It is possible to use what God has given but still waste it. If the gifts are used for unrighteous things or for self-indulgence or for selfish gain, then they are being wasted because they will never make an eternal and lasting investment. Even if they are being used they can still be wasted.
God wants us to fully use His gifts to us.

Having Joy: A Way to Bless Others

Be joyful always.

Rejoice in the Lord always...

Give thanks in all circumstances...


I was thinking today about these verses, and I know I should do these things, but today I thought about why.

I realized today that when someone is not being joyful, that person is actually being selfish by focusing only on self. If someone is not being joyful or enthusiastic about life or some situation, then he/she is probably either complaining (to him/herself or out loud) or just being "meh" or "blah" about life or that particular situation. So how's complaining or being unenthusiastic about things selfish? Think about where attention is being drawn.

When people complain, they draw attention to themselves and also surround everyone else around them with a negative attitude*.

Being just "meh" prevents others from seeing reasons to praise God. It keeps the focus on self and feelings*, not on blessings, others, or God. It is an attitude that says life is not good and there is no reason to smile. That attitude does not show or surround others with love or encourage them with joy. It also does not show them that they are a joy to be around and worth rejoicing over (It's no fun to be around someone who is not happy to see you).

Being joyful, especially during trials, is a way to bless others. They can be surrounded with an attitude of thanksgiving and happiness. Others can draw off that joy and be encouraged to find delight in what blessings they do have. Being joyful and thankful is an attitude that acknowledges blessings and blessing others and most importantly, acknowledges God.



Verses quoted above: 1 Thessalonians 5:16, Philippians 4:4 , 1 Thessalonians 5:18

* There is a time to be sorrowful and pour out your heart to close friends and share your troubles. Life has difficulties after all. Just remember to look out for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Give God All You Have, Including the “Oops”

Jesus commonly used parables to explain heavenly ideas to people on earth, and He used ordinary situations and images to convey His messages. Today I discovered an illustration from my own life. I had been making paper flowers and had started working on making their centers. I cut out strips of paper and starting cutting slits down the side. It was tedious and my wrist started hurting after a while because I had to cut dozens of strips. As I started cutting slits in one of the strips, I accidentally cut too far and cut off part of the strip. Oops.

 

The strips needed to be long enough so when I rolled them up they would fit snuggly in the center of the flower. I didn’t crumple up the strip and throw it away because I don’t like giving up and I like making things work, so I wondered what  to do with my “oops” strip.   

My mistake made me think of how this is like our lives. We mess up, we go too far, we lose something (our temper, reputation, integrity, etc.), we have an “oops” moment. Whether we meant for it to happen or not, we end up as someone or in someplace we do not want to be and we’re not sure how to fix it. When in such circumstances there are several choices. One can sit there and try to figure out what to do, or one can choose to be upset and angry and pout, Or, one can humbly go to God with the “oops”  and give Him all that there is and let Him be the master of the rest of that life. 

No one can change the past, but God can remake the future. The Bible is filled with examples of people that messed up and then turned to God and let Him rework and change their lives into something beautiful. God is creative. He can use whatever you have, even if you think it is not much. There is a story in John 6:5-13 where Jesus used a boy's 5 small loaves and 2 small fish to feed 5,000 people. He can make things work. He can make things beautiful. He is God after all. He created the whole universe. He can make all things work for the good of those who love Him. All one has to do is surrender.

The alternative is trying to fix our mistakes on our own. We try, hoping no one will notice how bad it is, or we just try to find a way to forget what happened. Maybe we want to try and fix it on our own because we don't want to humble ourselves and admit we need God.

No one is perfect. Everyone has done something wrong, but it’s not going to get better unless God takes control. It doesn’t matter if you made a big or little “oops,” just give God whatever you have left and watch what He can do.

As for what happened to my “oops” strip, I was able to make it fit loosely in the center of one of my flowers and secure it with some glue. Coming up with a solution for a broken life, however, is something only God is big enough to handle.

We Live Among Weeds, Until Harvest Time

The Parable of the Weeds : Matthew 13:24-30

I was thinking about injustice and suffering and wondering as most people do, why does an all-powerful God not stop evil people by getting rid of them. After asking God about it my eyes fell on The Parable of the Weeds. It goes like this:

²⁴ Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. ²⁵ But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. ²⁶ When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

27 “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

²⁸ “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

²⁹ “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them.³⁰ Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

I thought about what it meant when the wheat and weeds are stuck together and intertwined. Then I remembered God’s patience. He could just yank up the weeds before harvest but then they would not have a chance to become wheat. Once we turn to God, He gives us His Spirit and we are no longer weeds but wheat. I realized I used to be a weed. I used to be a mean person. I used to be selfish. I used to do things that were not nice. Then God came into my life and I became His wheat. Would I have wanted God to yank me up before that moment? Everyone at one point has been a weed, and until God changes someone by giving that person His Spirit, that person will remain a weed. We have all done evil things and those things deserve the punishment of death. The weeds were destined for the fire. As doers of evil we were destined for hell. Through the sacrifice of Jesus we can choose to be forgiven and by God's grace be transformed into His children and be brought into His presence like the wheat. God is patient not wanting anyone to die.  Consider the following verses in Ezekiel  chapter 18.

23 Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?

32 For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!

He is waiting until the last moment before He has the weeds destroyed. The Harvest is coming and then He will take care of evil for good. 

James 5:7-11

⁷ Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. ⁸ You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. ⁹ Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door. ¹⁰ As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. ¹¹ We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

The Importance of a Compassionate Heart

The definition of compassion is seeing the needs and suffering of others, and having a desire to help.

And Jesus called His disciples to Him, and said, “I feel compassion for the people, because they have remained with Me now three days and have nothing to eat; and I do not want to send them away hungry, for they might faint on the way.” - Matthew 15:32

Compassion results in caring for other people. Jesus lived an example of compassion with His life. Jesus had the compassion to take care of the hurting, broken, and suffering people. Here are some instances of Jesus feeling compassion. Matthew 9:36, Matthew 14:14, Matthew 20:34, Mark 1:41, Mark 6:34, Mark 8:2, Luke 7:13

Jesus’ compassion often caused Him to stop and go out of His way to help people. Do I do this? Compassion goes beyond helping people when it is easy or convenient or only helping every now and then. Compassion is helping even when circumstances are difficult or when it costs me. I’ll give an example of how God taught me the importance of having a compassionate heart to serve others.

Several days ago, I had a list of things I wanted to finish, and I was delighted at how quickly I was moving through the list. I was halfway done with the second task, when my sister asked for help with a math problem. I was happy to help. After my sister finished the problem, I went back to what I was doing, eager to move through my list. Then I remembered something else I needed to do: sweep up the sand in the bathroom. I went to get the broom, but before I could start sweeping, my sister asked for my help again. I went to help her but not as willing as the first time. I had things I needed to do. After helping her, I once again went back to my tasks when she asked for help again. I had to take a moment and remind myself to smile when I went to help and she joked, “You should just stay here until I finish.” I stayed and helped her until she finished, but I was having a hard time keeping a happy attitude. When I finally got back to sweeping, sewing, and writing, I realized a lack of compassion kept me from truly wanting to help and kept me from helping joyfully. I started out happy to help, but then my eagerness to finish my own important tasks distracted me. I did not have the right heart. I thought my tasks were more important (and could not wait, although they really could wait). If I had been concerned for my sister and her frustration towards math, I would have been more eager to help. Compassion is being able to set aside my plans so I can help someone who has a need. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to take care of personal needs and tasks, but Jesus has made it clear that is important to consider the needs of others and show them compassion. Proverbs 3:27-28 says, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it’—when you have it with you.”

Don’t let “those to whom it is due” make you selective in your help. Jesus clarified that we are to love enemies as well as neighbors. 

“And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:40-44). 

I become selfish when I do not see other’s needs as important. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” The verses following Philippians 2:4 describe how Jesus Himself showed this selflessness by dying on a cross. I am to follow His example (Matthew 20:26-28).

Having compassion motivates people to continue to go and serve. Without compassion, helping and serving others becomes just an obligation and there is no love in it. Jesus saw people as sheep without a shepherd so He taught them. He saw their pain and healed them. He took notice of people and loved them. He did not see them as burdens. He loved them and that is why He could give so much of Himself to others. When God fills our hearts with His love we can give God’s love to others. We need to see people as loved by God and remember we are His hands and feet that share compassion.